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Make Change

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Cake in the morning & other ways to handle change

In my last few posts I talked about preparing for a big change. How do you contend with change when you are in the midst of it? How do you steer when your boat is out to sea?
You probably feel a loss of control. I do. And not having control is one of my least favorite things.

If you’re experiencing a big change, a new set of emotions may come flooding in.
Some are feelings you’d like to avoid at all cost, like sadness, anxiety, panic, and anger. Others are more positive, like awe, exhilaration, or jubilation. Whether they’re scary or wonderful, all of these emotions can be overwhelming.

While riding these waves of emotions, you are being asked to do something different. That is what we don’t always like. Change requires us to practice new behaviors and create new habits. During change, we experience a loss of control. (We never have very much control – but change drives that point home.)

What can you do so you don’t lose it?

What do I mean by lose it?
For starters, how about eating lots of cake for breakfast? (Okay, I know that morning cake is not always a bad idea. But after my husband Rob left for graduate school and I found myself having cake for breakfast three days in a row… well, let’s just say it started to take its toll on my energy levels.)

When I say lose it I also mean: Not talking to your friends, eating too much, not eating enough, not sleeping, sleeping A LOT, watching tons of Ally McBeal reruns [insert your personal unhealthy TV obsession here] … anything that makes you feel bad about yourself at the end of the day.

How to keep your center in the midst of change:

Breathe deeply

Yes. Breathe. Annie, isn’t this always on your list? Yes. And for good reason. A few good breaths bring us back to ourselves. Breathing relaxes our shoulders. Softens the belly. Reminds us that we are made of air and matter. Reminds us that we are still here, still alive. This is your breath. This is your moment to be alive.

Hold lightly

The load you are carrying may be heavier right now. There is more to juggle, more to figure out. Try not to be hard on yourself when things aren’t working out perfectly. Try taking a few things off your plate. What is not necessary? Not mission critical? Maybe “necessary” has a new meaning. Now maybe some things that used to be necessary are no longer needed.

Take it down to the smallest piece

Simplify what you need to get done. When thinking about what needs to happen next, take it down to the smallest step possible. Give yourself only a few small to do’s at a time. When those are done, give yourself a few more.

For example: Today I will buy dolmas at the grocery store so I’ll have some sustenance in the house. Today I will get out of bed and stretch. Today I will call my mom. Today I will walk around the block. Today I will write that email to Juan.

Remember your anchors

Who are the people who are most important to you? What things in your life bring you joy and comfort? Big change is the time to get serious about what you care about the most, and let go of the rest. Really let it go. Cross it off your “feeling guilty, must-do” list. You could think of this desert-island style. Think of the three things, people, and values that will sustain you on your island. Who holds you steady? What holds you steady?

In the midst of my current life changes, what matters the most is being with the people who understand me and are invested in my wellbeing. What matters is taking care of myself, being kind to myself and working to be kind in my daily interactions with others.

Sleep

You know how much sleep your body needs. (And if you don’t, it is probably 7 to 8 hours per night.) If you are only hitting the 5-hour mark, do your best to get a little more sleep. Try setting an alarm when it is time to get ready for bed. (This is what Adrianna Huffington does.) If you’re sleeping too much, build a system for getting yourself out of bed. Try multiple alarms. Put lights and music on timers. Schedule morning appointments.

Strip it to the core

I’ve said this before, and I’m saying it again. When you are in the midst of big change, get rid of the extra crud. Strip away anything that’s weighing you down. Take it off, leave it behind. Deal with the day to day. Remember what matters to you. Take a deep breath.

Lean forward.
Watch for a few lessons along the way.

Make the change.
You’re ready to weather the storm.
You can do this.

Question for reflection:

What are your anchors in the midst of change?

Write an answer in the comments below or jump on over to my Facebook page and comment.

By |October 29th, 2014|Less Stress More Joy, Make Change|Comments Off on Cake in the morning & other ways to handle change|

One question to ask during change

Anticipating a change can be scary, but you can also have a sense of control. You can at least try and plan for what is to come. You can tell yourself, “I think this is going to happen and then I will do this”. Not that it will work out that way. But before things actually change—when you see the change a-comin’—you can at least receive comfort by pretending you have some control.

Then the change comes.
And you are in the thick of it.

You are no longer waiting for the boat to leave the shore. The boat is out in the water and the waves are getting bigger.

Two things happen once change has begun to occur.

You can release a bit of the fear of the unknown. You now know what the change is going to feel like because you are in it. Some of the landscape is coming into view. You are beginning to see things and experience things from the inside of the change.

The second thing that happens is the reality of the change sets in and now you have to deal with the new experiences, the new emotions. You can no longer plan for the inevitable. It is happening. You need to act. The question goes from “What will happen?” to “How am I going to get through this?”

Once change occurs, things do not become more certain. A whole new set of questions pours in:

Can I do this?
Is it always going to feel like this?
Is it going to change again?
What should I do next?
Am I going to make it through this?

In my next post I am going to talk through a few ways to stay grounded while change is happening.

For now I want to focus on one question we may not want to ask while we are in change. It is one of the most important questions we can ask during change. However, the way it is asked and when it is asked determines whether the question is helpful or actually hurtful.

The question is…

What is the learning – what is the possibility – in the midst of this change?

I know this is an annoying question. Actually it can be a horrible question in the midst of gut wrenching, unexpected changes. This question could be misconstrued as meaning that the change you are going through is good or has purpose simply because there is something to learn from it.

There are times you should not ask this. And no good friend should ask this either. See my note below about when not to ask this question.*

Here is the thing –
I do believe we can always learn something from change. I do believe that there is always possibility in the midst of life’s storms. I do not believe that this means things always happen for a reason or it is good when people go through painful trauma. Horrible things happen to people all the time and nobody deserves these things. They do not serve a higher purpose.

However, I do believe goodness shows up within change – even horrible change. And the lessons we need to learn often come in the midst of turmoil and upheaval. Even if these lessons are not visible until sometime later.

So when you are ready, when you have navigated the change, survived the hardest moments, when you have created breathing space….
Ask yourself, very gently….

What possibility is in here? What am I learning?
(Not what “should” I be learning… but what am I learning?)

If you ask gently enough the answer can be surprising.
Take notice.
What’s inside?
There may be a lesson, an invitation…

The learning may be really freakin’ hard. It may be something you would rather avoid. Change works that way.

If you figure out what is inside the journey—the lesson or blessing—you can engage.

And what if you are tired of learning?
Well, unfortunately learning is a part of our journey. It does not stop. If you want to be a more loving person, you are going to have to keep learning. Sigh.

Like change, there is always more learning. It just keeps happening.
If we turn away from the learning—just like turning away from change—we stop growing and feeling. This results in less love, less joy, and less light in our lives in the long run.

So take a deep breath, sigh if you must, and ask, “What is the lesson in this change?”

*Note: You do not need ask yourself “What I am learning?” if you are in the midst of grief. If you are in the process of letting go of people or places or even ways of being, you need space to grieve. Yes, there probably will be hard or beautiful learning that comes from those experiences. But we need the space and time to grieve – not to find some false silver lining. In grief, give yourself time not questions.

By |October 23rd, 2014|Less Stress More Joy, Make Change|Comments Off on One question to ask during change|
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    How to move toward change (‘cause it’s coming either way)

How to move toward change (‘cause it’s coming either way)

In my last post, I wrote about a big change that’s happening in my life. I am not alone in this. Big changes are happening in the lives of many of my clients and friends. If you are anticipating or experiencing a big change—a move, a job change, the break-up of a relationship, a new baby—you may feel overwhelmed. You may even be frightened.

Big changes produce deep learning. But that doesn’t mean it is easy. However, if you move toward the change instead of running from it you are likely to deepen your learning and actually reduce your anxiety in the long run.

Here are some techniques you can use to move toward the big changes in our lives.

How to move toward change:

Be still for a moment

Often we avoid the inevitable by not staying in one place for too long. “If I just keep moving the change won’t catch me.” We get busy with a lot of other things, and avoid facing the change that is occurring or needs to occur. What we need to do instead is stop trying to escape.

Find a time to stop moving. Take 10 minutes to think about what is happening. Turn off the TV and constant media stream, and sit without distraction. You might take a short walk alone or with a friend. Or choose one or two people you care about and who care about you, and talk about what is happening. Be mindful of who you talk with. Ask them to not give you advice. Instead say that you need someone to listen and perhaps ask questions about your experience.

During this time of stillness and reflection, you may want to set some intentions for how you would like to respond to the change, how you would like to feel during the change and how you would like to respond when things do not go as planned. Keep these still, reflective times short. You do not need to overwhelm yourself and over-think what is happening.

Breathe

I always say this. I am saying it again. Pay attention to your breath. Inhale. Exhale. Again. Listen to your breath. Feel your breath. It is consistent. Your breath will be there with you through this whole change. It is your closest companion on this living journey. Feel it.

Exercise

Find a way to move your body. It will help your mind slow down a bit. Exercise will increase your capacity to handle the stress of the unknown as you embark on a new part of your life journey.

Find commonality

Seek out support from someone who has had, or is having, a similar experience. If you are facing a job or career change, the death of a loved one, the completion of a major life’s work, or a move, you are embarking on a shared human experience. You are not the first. You are not alone. Reach out. Find someone to talk to who has been there, or is there. Give them an opportunity to reflect on their own experiences, their resilience. You can support each other.  You do not have to take their particular advice. This can be a space for the sharing of experiences, not a problem-solving space.

Face the shadows

Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen? If that worst thing happens, what can I do?” Develop a plan (or two) for the biggest scariest fear. This is the art of flipping the light switch on in a dark room. Shed light. The shadows may not be what you think they are. And if the monsters in the shadows are scary, at least you know what you are dealing with.

Note: Facing the shadows—looking at our fears directly—is one of the hardest things for us to do. You may choose to explore this with a healer, or with someone you deeply trust.

In the coming weeks, I will write more about what to do once you are deep into the change. For now, may you find moments of quiet to prepare for the change that’s coming your way. And may you find people that you can talk to honestly about your experience.

Question for reflection:

What is one step you can take to turn toward the change happening and prepare for it?

Write an answer in the comments below or jump on over to my Facebook page and comment.

By |September 24th, 2014|Make Change|Comments Off on How to move toward change (‘cause it’s coming either way)|

Facing big change

I am going through a really big change right now. My husband is starting graduate school out of town and we will be commuting back and forth on the weekends. Sitting on the edge of change and the unknown, I can say I am nervous. I don’t really want to face the inevitable.

At the moments when I glance sideways at the coming change, I see only fearful shadows and whispering worries. So much could go so wrong. But at times, light blinks through the shadows and I can see all the good that is going to arise from this change. I am excited and expectant, too.

I am not the only one in my community going through major changes right now.

In my professional and personal life, I know dozens of people who are facing tremendous change. Relationships are beginning and ending, people are leaving jobs, starting new jobs, or are leaving the working world altogether. New babies are on the way. People are moving, beginning new schooling, or taking new career risks.

Some of these changes are chosen and deliberate. Some have been foisted on people. Some changes arise from blessings. For those people, gratitude is mixed with trepidation. Other changes come out of hardship—hardship piled on top of hardship—and bring on anxiety and even fear. Whether we choose it or not, change is hard work. Change always causes learning and growth, and this may be the hardest part. The learning and growth increase the more consciously we move toward the change.

I don’t like change. I would rather hunker down in my cozy, comfortable ways. Ironically, my work is all about change. I work alongside people who are carrying out massive community change, people who are changing their business, organizations, and lives.

Here is what my experience teaches me: Every time I have learned deeply or seen improvements in my life and in my community, it has come through people changing, me changing.

If the good stuff comes from the ending of things, the rethinking of things, the confronting of things, then I guess I need to move toward change. I may not embrace it joyfully at first. I will probably be scared, but I can still step toward it.

Working with people who are facing big changes—and being mindful about changes in my own life—has shown me that there are techniques we can use to move through life changes. In my next post, I’ll talk about some healthy, positive ways to move toward change.

Question for reflection:

What is the one change occurring in your life right now that you may not even be thinking about?
Write an answer in the comments below or jump on over to my Facebook page and comment.

By |September 18th, 2014|Make Change, Manifest|Comments Off on Facing big change|

Need Something Say Something

One of scariest, hardest things at work, or in any life situation, is having an honest conversation. By “honest conversation,” I mean a situation when you need to talk about something that has been on your mind or in your heart, and you are going to ask for someone else to respond.

What stops people from having honest conversations? Fear. Always. Maybe what you need to talk about is something you have been afraid to say out loud. You could be afraid of being misunderstood, hurting someone’s feelings, getting yelled at, or being judged. At work you could even fear losing your job.

When you need to have a hard conversation, you will experience fear. But if you don’t have the conversation, two things are almost certainly guaranteed: Things will not change. And they might get even worse.

When I talk about the need for honest conversations, one topic that comes up a lot is: “Something needs to change at work for me to be happier.” There is a lot on the line with this conversation. If you talk with your boss about what you need in order to experience satisfaction at work, you may hear that what you want is not possible. Or even worse, that you are being unreasonable. You could strain your relationship with your supervisor.

But if you do not bring up your needs at work, then things will continue as usual.

This may result in decreased job satisfaction and increased stress. It could even cause depression. Also, if you don’t talk about it, you won’t know if your job situation could get better.

Wait! What happens if you do have the honest conversation?

If you talk with your supervisor about your needs at work, a lot could go right! You could brainstorm potential solutions together. This process could open up a healthy dialogue with your supervisor, and could improve collaboration. Your relationship could strengthen. Your honest conversation could benefit other employees in the organization.

What if you ask and do not receive support?

You will learn an important lesson about your employer’s ability to respond to employee needs. This could confirm that perhaps this job is not the right place for you. In fact, sometimes that is what we are afraid of confirming. It is good to get clear and know. The longer we hide from the fact that our job is not the right place for us the more we put off the work of finding a new job.  If you know then you can prepare for the future.

Is it worth it?

Yes! Take action. Have the conversation. If there is a path to improving things at work, you’re taking the first step toward making things better. Your coworkers could benefit. Your relationship with your supervisor could improve. At worst you will find out critical information about whether this job is the right place for you to be.*

Plan for the conversation

Think about who you can talk to and when it is the right time to talk with them. Start by speaking with your most direct supervisor (if you go over their head you will potentially alienate them). Can this person help enact a change in the organization? If not, know who else you will talk with. Lay the groundwork for the conversation ahead of time. Let them know you want to talk about how you are doing in the job. Ask for the support you need to improve your performance and satisfaction.

Prepare. Be ready to share concrete ideas. What would you like to change? What are some realistic ways you can see that things can change? Be ready to compromise and negotiate. Be prepared for tough questions and tough choices. What are you willing to give up to make a change occur?

Forgive

Yes, forgive. You may gain support and understanding to change the way you are doing or experiencing your job. That is great! But even after the change occurs, you may have residual anger toward your co-workers or even yourself. You may feel let down. You may feel frustrated by things that have occurred in the past. But if you do not work toward forgiving people in the organization, the changes you have made will not lead to feeling any better. So before you start, set an intention to forgive. Write down who you want to forgive and for what. If you pray or meditate, ask for help in forgiving those people. You can also see the person and silently say, “I am forgiving you for this.” Try doing this until you have forgiven them.
(You do not have to have an external conversation with anyone to forgive them.)

Commit to do the work and keep the conversation going

Change takes work, so be prepared to do your part. Be willing to continue the conversation about how you are doing in your job.

Have a Plan B

If the changes you are asking for are not possible, what are you going to do instead? What personal changes can help you offset your dissatisfaction with the job? Are there relationships at work that you can improve? Can you shift your ways of thinking about the work? What would you be doing if you weren’t doing this job? What is one step you can take toward a different way of engaging in the work, getting enjoyment outside of the work, or leaving your job?

Get support

Find people that you love and trust outside of your work to talk with. Tell them what you are struggling with at work. Ask them to listen as you talk through possible solutions including a Plan B. Ask them to hold you accountable to talk with people at work. Check in and report on how your conversation went, and what change is occurring.

Most work cultures do not support honest, open conversations. It is hard to be the person who speaks up for change and your own needs. But if you do not do it, things will not change.

A few honest conversations could make your job an easier place to work.

If you enjoy the work more, you will do better work. You will also be a happier person. Your family and loved ones will thank you. And you are worth it.

What else would you add to this list?  What has helped you have a successful conversation and change in the workplace?

Note:

*Every once in a while someone has a supervisor who is just not supportive, period. This is rare. (Sometimes we don’t feel supported, but we haven’t opened up a dialogue.) If you know you have a supervisor who will not support you, then you have a different dilemma. If you believe your supervisor does not have your best interest in mind (or even the best interest of the organization) then they are NOT the right person to talk to. Find other management support in the organization and have a conversation about what you need to be successful in the company. Also get support and start working on a Plan B.

By |May 13th, 2014|Connect, Get It Done, Make Change|Comments Off on Need Something Say Something|

Calm from the Top Down

Are you stressed? How about the people in your organization? There’s stress in every workplace.  A certain level of stress is OK – it gets people going, and keeps them motivated. It means they care about the work. But a lot of stress? That is no good. No good for your body, your mind, your organization, or your bottom line.

Excessive stress at work happens for lots of reasons: more work than there are people to do it, unclear direction, no sense of control, no time to take breaks from the work, and a constant state of urgency.

Brace yourself. This will be hard to hear.

Stress begins at the top and trickles down to senior directors, then middle managers, and weaves its way all the way down to staff. This means, if you’re a boss, a leader, or a manager, then you are responsible for the level of stress your employees are feeling. I know this is a bold and unpopular statement. I know we all have the responsibility for making good choices while managing our professional and personal lives.

But consider this:

If you are in a position of power, management, and decision-making, then you set the tone and priorities for your organization. If your company is stressed out, you hold some of the responsibility to usher people back from the brink, before you lose them for good.

If the people at your organization are experiencing unhealthy stress, it impacts your productivity and bottom line. Excessive stress leads to overwhelmed people who are slowing down. It increases negativity, and increases sick days and medical leave. And stress is contagious: stressed out people make other people stressed out! In a consistently high-stress workplace, your employees are unable to do their best work.

You can do something! You can set the tone and expectations for your organization. You can create a place where people want to work.

Let’s get concrete.

Your step-by-step action plan for reducing workplace stress:

Set the tone

Before you do anything else, take time to build a practice that helps you reduce stress.

Here are some starting points:
Find focus and priorities in your work. Clarify your work boundaries. Increase your work-free, joy-filled time. Take care of your body. Practice gratitude, and let go of things beyond your control.

This list may sound simple, but these practices fly in the face of the, “work your buns off so you can be seen as successful” norm. Stress reduction is a journey, not a quick fix. The good news is that as you find ways to reduce your own stress, you will be physically healthier, have more energy, and be more capable of leading your team.

Model your behaviors for co-workers, and you’ll be much closer to changing the culture of your organization. As other managers and directors change with you, you’ll be even further along to reducing everybody’s stress level

Support your employees

When you’re supervising employees, ask them, one-on-one, how much stress they are experiencing in their work. Where does the stress stem from? Ask for your employees’ ideas for reducing stress.

Be ready to hear things you do not want to. Prepare yourself to listen and look for solutions. If you ask the question and do not work to find solutions, you will decrease trust and increase stress. This is an ongoing conversation between you and the people you manage. Give each other time to look for solutions, try them out, and talk again.

Examine Policies and Boundaries

How has your organization decided what work must get done? Re-evaluate what you are prioritizing as “urgent.” Is there an expectation that people are always “at work”, even when they are home? Are employees always expected to answer the phone or emails, even on vacation? Even in legitimate work emergencies, how can responsibilities be shared across a team so everyone is not on duty all the time?

Define clear responsibilities, and priorities

Check in with folks about their job descriptions. Do they understand what is asked of them? Is it actually doable? Be ready to hear things you may not like, and be willing to brainstorm solutions.

Support people in deciding what must be done and by when. If a task should come off one employee’s plate, how can it be shifted or become a shared task with someone else?

Use these conversations to set clear priorities based on your strategic plans and company-wide goals. Re-visit priorities often, at the management level and with employees you’re supervising.

Set up meaningful fun and follow through

Brainstorm with your team the things they would like to celebrate. Every once in a while do these things! This could be as simple as gathering for sparkling cider in the middle of the day to congratulate the team on a successful project completion.

Hold your celebrations during work hours as often as you can. A brief break won’t hurt the work.  And too many extra-curriculars—even if they’re celebrations—become just one more work-related event that cuts into time off.

Hire more people or take on less work

A HUGE source of stress and overwhelm is people’s inability to finish the work within a reasonable workday. Talk with people about the workload. Find out how long tasks really take. Ask why certain tasks or projects are a struggle. Take on only the amount of work people can realistically accomplish.

As an employer, you should not take on every project that arises, unless you can support it with your current workforce or bring on more people. As a manager, you can speak up for your team as the workload increases.

Put the right people in the right job

If you have people doing the wrong work—work they do not have the right skill set for—they will feel unsuccessful and they will not be efficient. This creates additional stress for that employee and for their co-workers.

Having someone in a job they cannot perform successfully is cruel to them and bad for your organization. You can lose money and your reputation.

The right answer to this issue depends on the job and the individual. Your options are to move the person to a different position, get them the training they need, rebuild their job description to fit their skills, or let them go.

Do you want a productive organization where people enjoy coming to work, make an impact, and have a full life outside of work?

It’s up to you. Start with reducing your stress, and supporting your team to reduce theirs.

More Resources:

Stressed? Here is why and what you can do about it!
Dwight Mihalicz
(Geared toward management)
effectivemanagers.com/dwight-mihalicz/stressed-here-is-why-and-what-you-can-do-about-it

How to reduce stress among employees at a nonprofit.
First Nonprofit Group
www.firstnonprofitcompanies.com/how-to-reduce-stress-among-employees-at-a-nonprofit

How to tell your boss about stress.
Monica Burton, Career Realism
www.careerealism.com/talking-boss-about-stress

How to make stress your friend.
Kelly McGonigal, Ted Talk
www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend

By |April 8th, 2014|Get It Done, Make Change, Organize|Comments Off on Calm from the Top Down|

How to love the job you’re in (or survive a job you hate)

I am working with a few folks right now who are either exhausted from an overwhelming job they used to love, or working in a job that frankly sucks. They are working with co-workers who drive them nuts. Or they have too much work, not enough time, and not the best pay. Maybe their work does not bring any joy when it is finished, or the office culture is negative and toxic.

I know the typical advice for someone in this situation, especially because of the current “Do What You Love” zeitgeist. People like to say: “Quit that job that is killing you, do what you love!” And yes, I think that is important advice. If you are really unhappy in your job, it might be time to begin the tough work of looking for something new or even building your dream business or position.

But when giving this advice, there are big things people forget about.

First, not everyone can go out and scoop up a new dream job. This economy is difficult and there are many factors that can hold us back from our dream job. Important things like access, poverty, family care, illness, racism, sexism, ageism and more.

Second, even if you decide to make the move to change jobs or careers, the path to change can be long, and you still need to the survive the job you are in in the meantime.

And here is another thing: You could switch jobs and find the culture of your next organization is toxic, with very difficult co-worker relationships and an exhausting workload.

So what now?  Just stay annoyed, exhausted, and unhappy?

No. I do believe and have practiced another way.
Even in the hardest environments, people can survive and sometimes even thrive.
How?

A few practices:

Find a little good

Find something you love about the job. One thing. It can be silly even. Whatever this is will be your little secret. Write it down. Carry it with you or place it in a place you can see it daily.

Practice gratitude

Yes, this helps. It seems sometimes like such a simple thing. Can finding something to be thankful for really help when there is so much to be angry about? Yes. Gratitude is an inoculation from stress and exhaustion. Practicing gratitude helps connect us to the little things surrounding us that serve as reminders that there is always, always something to be thankful for. And the practice of being thankful cultivates a sense of connection in us and reminds us that even in the hardest circumstances there can still be joy. Every day, write down three to five things you’re thankful for. When you wake up or go to bed think of something you are thankful for. Take pictures of things you are thankful for. (Your gratitude does not need to have ANYTHING to do with your job).

Set boundaries and say, “No Thank You”

The difficult co-worker, the long hours, the pile of work… I know it seems impossible, but somewhere in there is actually something you can say, “No” to! It starts with clear communication about your boundaries and capacity. Be clear with co-workers and bosses alike, and you will have less stress and more room to breathe. What could this look like? Telling a co-worker that from 9:00 to 11:00 in the mornings you would like to work quietly without conversation. Figuring out how long certain projects are taking you, and letting your boss know, so that when your boss adds another piece of work to the pile, you ask them to choose the priorities.

Cultivate your life outside of work

Find the things that bring you joy and practice a few. Put energy into things besides your work and take the pressure off having to have the perfect job. Take time for bedtime routines, family dinners, dance classes, coffee with a friend, jogs, weekend road trips, writing, music, or art.  What makes your heart purr? What have you been missing? Do more of that.

Keep tabs on when it is time to leave

Build a plan for getting a different job or even different career. It is possible. You do not have to stay where you are forever. The transition may take a while. Talk to friends about the move or change you want to make. Start looking at options: what jobs exist, what school programs are available, what are all of the ways you can make a change?  Do you need to be saving money for a leap? Or updating your resume? Take one step toward leaving, even a small step. Then use the courage you gained from the small step to take the next step.  (Even grab time with a coach who can walk you through building your plan).

What is helping you survive or even thrive in a job that is too much?

What one thing can you do now to move from exhausted to feeling grateful?

 

Next month I will begin to dig into what organizations and leaders can do to create healthy environments where people enjoy going to work.

Good resources:

Dealing with difficult people (in life and in work)
Preston Ni
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201309/ten-keys-handling-unreasonable-difficult-people

Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.
Louie Schwartzberg along with Brother David Steindl-Rast
http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude

Gratitude, gifting and grandpa
John Styn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOn6MruboY8

How to find 20 hours a week to work on your business (Even if you have a full-time job)
Rosetta Thurman
http://happyblackwoman.com/how-to-find-20-hours-a-week-to-work-on-your-business/

How to approach your job now while you are transitioning out of it
Marie Forleo
http://www.marieforleo.com/2011/06/transition-day-job-dream-business/

Is work killing you?
David Posen, MD
A great book with tools and direct talk about the impact of workplace stress on us and our communities

By |March 12th, 2014|Make Change, Practice|Comments Off on How to love the job you’re in (or survive a job you hate)|